How many times have you heard someone use the phrase, “live each day as if it were your last?”

The incredible man you’re about to meet in this video has taken that message to an entirely higher level. View it, listen to it, share it and then…live it.

By Dennis Heath

One of the most common areas for development that arises when coaching executives is the need for more assertiveness. The problem is that “assertive” is often confused with “aggressive” or dictatorial.

Those that subscribe to an aggressive style to produce results may well deliver the goods in the short term. However, over the long term, team members will feel disrespected, become demoralized and look for opportunities outside the organization.

The longer term outcome is a steady decline in results as attrition rates climb, which also affects members of related departments as they see their colleagues being victims of aggressive or bullying behavior. Such behavior is a common career derailer, particularly for those in senior positions or those who are highly ambitious.

At the other end of the spectrum are passive managers. Managers who fail to assert themselves have a similar, negative impact on morale and productivity. Passive managers can be indecisive, poor mentors, uninspiring and equally as damaging as Mr. Aggressive.

Team members working for a passive manager may find it hard to gain support for their ideas and initiatives, be uncertain about where their focus should be and concerned about the ability of their manager to represent their needs and concerns at senior level.

Assertive managers are able to lead, direct and motivate without the need to bang the table, play the dictator or criticize their direct reports. Some managers however, hesitate to embrace assertiveness because they mistakenly equate it to aggressive behavior.

Assertiveness and aggression are two entirely different things. Whilst aggression is emotional and counter-productive, assertiveness is all about clarity of communication and intent. An assertive statement or request has five key elements:

1/ It is not open to misinterpretation.

2/ There is absolute clarity of what the speaker requires from the listener.

3/ It is free of negative or aggressive emotion.

4/ Body language is congruent with the spoken words.

5/ Words used and body language show respect to the receiver.

As well as enabling a manager to give clear, unequivocal direction and leadership, assertiveness has an important role to play in giving positive motivational messages to team members. Compare the following two statements:

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By Melisa Milonas

How committed are you to fulfilling and achieving big things in your life? A lot of you say you are 100% committed but really only give maybe 30%. In the past I have said I was committed to something but my actions were not consistent with what I was saying I was committed to. I can remember saying I wanted a full practice but doing very little to market my services. I also remember saying I wanted to be wealthy and save money but I was not committed to being responsible for changing my financial situation. Can you see where in your life you have been like this?

I am not beating myself up or any of you for not being fully committed to your dreams and goals. In fact, when my clients see where they were not fully committed and say things like “I know I should do”, I insistently cringe because that is not at all what my work is about. I do not believe that saying things to yourself like “I should do” or beating yourself up will get you dramatic results. If anything it gets in the way and dis-empowers you.

What this work is about, is getting you to be honest with yourself about what doesn’t work in your life and empowering you to find ways to make your life work. Honestly, not fully committing to your goals and only giving 30% just does not work. What can you do about it?

First, examine what is going in your mind. When you commit to something big does your mind usually perceive it as a big responsibility and sacrifice? If I do this then I have to give up that? That maybe true, but what will you have to give up? Being irresponsible, wasting time, not feeling inspired and fulfilled, that seems like good baggage to lose. Your mind may tell you will have to sacrifice time, like being with your loved ones or doing your favorite hobbies.

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By Tony Mase

Is there really a “secret”…

A secret to getting what you want…

Regardless of what it is?

There sure is and, the funny thing is that, it isn’t really a secret at all.

Wallace D. Wattles, best known for his classic masterpiece “The Science of Getting Rich”, began most of the articles in his “Lessons in Constructive Science” series of articles with this preface:

“There is a constructive, or integrating principle in nature, and a destructive, or disintegrating principle. Power applied through the constructive principle builds, forms and integrates; it draws atoms and forms together. Power applied through the destructive principle dissolves and disintegrates; it disperses atoms and forms, and throws them apart. To learn how to make every thought and action constructive, is to master the secret of all attainment.”

And therein lies the secret…

The *real* secret to getting what you want…

Regardless of what it is…

“To learn how to make every thought and action constructive, is to master the secret of all attainment.”

You see…

Every thought you think is either:

1. Constructive, or it’s…

2. Destructive.

It either:

1. Builds, or it…

2. Destroys.

Every action you take is either:

1. Constructive, or it’s…

2. Destructive.

It either:

1. Builds, or it…

2. Destroys.

Now…

With that in mind…

Think about it…

If you want to “build” something…

Anything…

Let’s take a house for example…

If your every thought is a constructive thought, contributing to the building of the house, and your every action is a constructive action, contributing to the building of the house…

Is there any way whatsoever that you could possibly not build the house?

Of course not.

On the other hand…

If your every thought is a destructive thought, not contributing to the building of the house, and your every action is a destructive action, not contributing to the building of the house…

Is there any way whatsoever that you could possibly ever build the house…

Regardless of how much you want to build it?

The answer again is…

Of course not!

This same *exact* principle applies to getting what you want in life…

Regardless of what it is…

If you want to “build” wealth…

If your every thought is a constructive thought, contributing to the building of wealth, and your every action is a constructive action, contributing to the building of wealth, you’ll build wealth.

If you want to “build” health…

If your every thought is a constructive thought, contributing to the building of health, and your every action is a constructive action, contributing to the building of health, you’ll build health.

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By Mary McNeil

If you want to live a creatively productive life, the implications can appear to be something of a paradox. That is, if you consider a creatively successful existence to be one that produces large amounts of recognized output during its several decades. To deliver plenty of creative output over the sustained period of a whole lifetime, some particularly robust routines and large helpings of discipline are called for.

This is where the paradox comes in, because the concept of creativity is generally not associated with the rigours of discipline and routine. They would seem to cut across the very nature of inspiration and imagination. Ideas of a creative life tend to be linked, rather, with the spontaneous freedom of a bohemian existence. And yet those who achieve a level of mastery and artistry in their creative field have, almost without exception, done so through many years of sustained and disciplined effort.

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By: Andrew Cox

What we tell ourselves about ourselves – our self talk, will create success – or not. Our success depends so much on the messages we constantly send ourselves. We can be our best friends – or we can be our own worst enemies. Each of us is capable of affirming ourselves – or of sabotaging our own belief in ourselves. And the difference between constructive self criticism and destructive criticism is so small – yet the difference in effect is huge!.

A personal example of destructive self talk:

I was just finishing a 5 mile walk at a 4 mph rate. I realized I was telling myself that what I had just done wasn’t much of an exercise - that I should have pushed harder - gone to the gym - hiked in the hills – lifted weights – done abs – done something other than what I had done. I was telling myself that a 5 mile walk at 4 mph in 100 degree heat on city streets wasn’t enough. I was telling myself that what I had done was not good enough.

Wow! A five mile walk at a good rate on a day when exercising in any form was a push because of conditions and other commitments. And then to end it with a dose of self criticism for not doing something different or better.. Self sabotage at its best - or worst!

Then I realized - I do that a lot. I minimize my accomplishments and think of them as less than what I should or could be doing.

Do you ever do that?

Destructive self talk – the habit of thought of negative messages - that we should do more, that what we’ve done isn’t that great, that compared to others we don’t measure up, has the long term effect of creating in our minds a feeling of not being able, not being worthy. And we do it to ourselves!

Take a look at your own self talk - see if it builds you up - or tears you down. If you find that you minimize what you do; that you feel you should have done something else; then work on getting that kind of self talk out of your system.

The good news is that that kind of self talk simply isn’t true. The better news is that we can change it. The best news is we can start to change it today! It’s not easy – many people have been doing it for so long that it seems a natural thing to do. It isn’t.

How to start?

First become aware that you’re doing it. And then work to replace those messages you have gotten into the habit of giving yourself with messages that affirm and make you feel good about yourself

Two steps you can take today:

Become pro active in your self criticism. Ask yourself what you can do better, different or more of the next time. Take what you have learned and apply it to your future – rather than mourning your past. It’s a subtle shift, but what you are doing is shifting from negative self criticism – looking at what has already happened and not liking it, to the “I am capable and worthy and here’s what I have to do to make it happen the next time ” It’s subtle – but it’s so powerful!

Create messages you can give yourself that are positive and proactive. The only way to get rid of a bad habit is to replace it with a good one.

What are some of the messages you can give yourself every day that are absolutely true and positive?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to get those positive messages flowing:

What makes you so special? You are, you know. Remind yourself - you are unique – there is not a single person in this world exactly like you.

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